When a spouse demands divorce, it is heartbreaking, whether
it was expected or out of the blue. If divorce is not something you want or
thought about, your reaction will likely be a mixture of shock, grief, and
anger. One spouse asking for divorce is not always the end of a marriage; many
couples are able to work out their differences, conflicts, concerns, and
misunderstandings. Nonetheless, there is no use dragging a relationship when
the other has clearly called quits. It is best to resolve the matter in a civil
manner and prevent a contentious litigated divorce. Here’s precisely how you
should handle the situation:
1.    Â
Stay calm and composed
Lashing out, breaking down, begging/pleading, screaming, or
threatening in response to a request for divorce looks bad. This kind of
behavior will only further motivate your spouse to get rid of you. If you want
your spouse to change their mind, a calm and composed reaction will help your
case. You should appear unfazed and confident if you want them to reconsider
the proposition.
2.    Â
Allow them to explain
On average, it takes a person about 2 years before voicing
their desire for a divorce. Therefore, you can bet that your spouse has been
thinking about terminating the marriage for quite some time. Give them a chance
to tell their side of the story; understanding their reasons for wanting the
divorce will help you find a way for reconciliation.
3.    Â
Suggest Counselling/Therapy
Marriage counseling and couples therapy has saved many
marriages, so you may give it a try if your spouse is willing. If you are
partially at fault for problems in the marriage, the experience will help both
of you improve as a person and evolve into a better partner.
4.    Â
Give them Space
If your spouse is not ready to give the relationship another
chance, let them have their space. Opt for temporary separation instead of
forcing them to stay. The time apart will help both of you figure out what you
truly want in life, and what is worth holding on to?
5.    Â
Do not ignore the Problem
When you ignore a problem, it does not magically go away. Similarly,
when your spouse sends you a divorce notice, not responding will not save the
marriage. Your silence will be judged as consent and it will become all the
easier for your spouse to leave you.
6.    Â
Get Help
If your spouse’s demand for divorce has left you devastated
and depressed, you need emotional support to cope. Do not let the circumstances
take toll on your mental and physical health. You need to stay strong and fight
back to protect your interests.
7.    Â
Avoid Manipulation and Violence
Preserving your marriage through emotional exploitation,
blackmail, and/or offensive behavior is the worst idea. It is beneficial to end
the relationship on friendly terms rather than creating ugly drama. Never bring
children in-between your disputes. Your spouse can use your manipulation and
violence against you in family court.
8.    Â
Educate Yourself
Learn all you can about family and divorce law in your
locality. It helps to be prepared for private negotiations and trial tests.
Acknowledge all aspects of the divorce and find ways to protect yourself in the
aftermath.
9.    Â
Consult Family Lawyers
If you want to retain financial and emotional stability
following the divorce, you must utilize the services of Family Law Attorney in San Jose, CA.
Your lawyer will guide you through the procedure and represent you during
settlement negotiations, mediation, or courtroom trial. They will safeguard
your interests and deflect assails from the opposing party.
10. Keep
your Demands Reasonable
When the divorce is in progress, it is not uncommon of
individuals to get stumped or overzealous. It is wrong to ask for nothing or
attempt to grab everything. Do not use the divorce proceedings as a means of
revenge on your spouse, and don’t let them dominate you either. The final
outcome or settlement should be fair to both parties.Â
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